I Leave it all to Chance

Don’t take it out on me

2004-07-27T07:25:00.000-05:00

Why is it that when you have a bad day or something goes wrong, all of your other little problems become apparently larger?

When you allow one thing to bother you it is so much easier to let other things bother you.

Today I chose to let myself be annoyed, and I did this for a reason that I have no control over, short of changing other people’s beliefs.

I broke one of my main rules of happiness. ‘Things can only bother you if you let them.’ Well, I let something bother me today and then that one thing ballooned into several things and then I started to perceive all these little things as a whole big list of problems. Even though I know full well that individually each problem is no problem. Yet as I consider them at the same time as I feel my patience becoming shorter, I find it difficult to maintain my composure. To quote a song that I like “The sky isn’t always blue, the sun doesn’t always shine, it’s alright to fall apart sometimes.”

I find it quite humorous that I consciously decided to be in a bad mood. I was fully aware of the causes of my mood, my options and the choice I needed to make to correct it, and yet the annoyance remained. Perhaps it is the knowledge that there is so much cynicism in this world and people love to beat down the happy person.

Me, being a happy person, am constantly questioned for the depth and truth of my happiness. I can say to you now that even though I am upset about something I am still happy. What I experienced is a bad moment in a day filled with wonderful moments. To let one bad moment ruin an entire day would be a complete waste of my day and my potential to do good things. I could care less whether you believe me or not because either way, I am happy with myself, and my life.

So believe me when I wrote further down in my messages that happiness is a choice because you can choose to be happy or you can choose to not be happy. No one makes you this way because regardless of where you are, what you have, or who you are with, you are still you. So you had better like who you are because you are you forever.

The Walls Between Us

2004-07-18T23:05:00.000-05:00

I have a barrier.

A barrier that holds me back from the things that I truly desire, pulls me away from what I know is within my grasp.

This barrier, however, is completely ingrained on my conscience and imprinted in my thoughts.

I say today that this barrier will be erased, it will be forgotten as the pain of a wound is forgotten over time.

I take great pride in saying that I am exactly as I would like to be, and I believe this to be true with the one exception of my barriers. It is the one thought that my mind refers to in my times of weakness. In the times when we are unsure of ourselves we all have those little thoughts that creep up and make us think twice about what we are doing. We all have some type of barrier that prevents us from doing or becoming exactly what it is that we truly want.

I believe that realizing this fact is the first step to change; The first step towards us ending up where we want to be.

A great friend of mine helped me realize this fact and he continually reminds me that no matter how good of a person I strive, or believe myself, to be, I still have weaknesses and elements of myself that I can work on.

I appreciate this lesson and do not take it for granted; today is the first day of the elimination of one of my many barriers, and as we all know, changing something about ourselves can be one of the hardest things to do. So wish me luck, even though I don’t believe in luck, it’s nice to receive it every now and then anyway.

Torn

2004-07-18T22:44:00.000-05:00

I find myself completely torn between choices.

Fate, as it is, can only take us so far.

We are placed in positions to make decisions.
Decisions on how we will act, and what we will make of what is presented to us.

Within me I feel tremendous passion, joy, love, and happiness.
No one person brings me these feelings, yet I seek the one that can embody them.

This is why I am torn.

My only true fear is that destiny leads me to this person and through my clouded, inexperienced, judgment, I allow the spark of opportunity to vanish.

I pray that destiny is kind to me, forgives my ignorance, and eventually allows me to seal my tear by presenting me with enough opportunities to gain the experience I need to eventually size that one special spark and nurture it to a strong and lasting fire.

Leaves in the Wind

2004-07-13T21:40:00.000-05:00

I travel this life as an unguided explorer,
There is no set path to guide my steps.
I fumble through my follies as casually as leaves blow in the wind.
My passing will have much the same effect.
I will have come and gone and the world will be much as it is.

Such is the fate of a person who lacks passion.

For those who embrace life, who seize opportunities as they arise and convert them to tales of triumph.
Those are the ones who people remember,
Those are the ones whose names are spoken of through the years.
Those are the ones that, like granite walls, will carry on throughout the ages.

Not to slip by un-noticed like the autumn leaves
But to be like the seed that imbeds itself onto this world and makes a lasting impression.
Your life has great meaning, always remember that your actions will affect others and your everyday decisions can mean the difference on how you will be remembered.

There may not be a path laid out for you, and even if there were, take the one that will lead you to where you want to be, not the one that seems most convenient. For the road to our hopes, dreams, and goals is usually the one we are most afraid to take.

Look inside

2004-06-29T19:35:00.000-05:00

There are those among us who will never understand love, who will never understand life. There are those that will journey through this world alone.

It need not be this way.

So many people close their hearts. They shield themselves behind a cloak of fear.
So many people do not embrace the unknown. Do not trust in themselves and their true power to succeed. For contained within us is unbridled potential, potential to achieve truly magnificent things. Unending kindness, hatred, joy and suffering are all within our reach.

Eliminate those states of mind that lead to pain and embrace all that is good in this world.

Do not cling to false hope but treasure the only one thing that you can truly count on, YOURSELF.

No one is going to solve your problems. Expect no help, and then you will understand that no help is needed.

The power to make all things come to fruition is within you.

Happiness

2004-06-28T22:09:00.000-05:00

What is life if not to experience happiness?

Why were we given this life and the capacity to experience joy, love, compassion, and passion if not to embrace these emotions with all our efforts and make this life the best it can be?

For we all have a choice, every moment of every day, we choose to be happy, accepting all hardships as a part of life, or we choose to dwell on those hardships as some kind of injustice, a cruel punishment delivered by others.

This choice is the essence of happiness. Accept your hardships, your pain, suffering, and all injustices that befall you with the knowledge that they can only adversely affect you if you let them.

Choose instead to understand that in order to experience great joy you must first understand pain. For without this distinction you will be in limbo, experiencing neither joy nor sorrow.

So love your enemies, for they help you appreciate life in ways that may have not been possible. Travel through your days choosing the way of passion, choosing acceptance, and you will be on the continuous journey to happiness.

For happiness is not a destination, it is a choice.